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Mudlarking the top Guardian task for twats

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DIGGING around in the foetid mud of the Thames amongst the collected rubbish of the previous 200 years is a crap method to invest a Saturday, it has actually arised.

Guardian-reading Londoners, for life looking for tasks both totally free and academic, are excavating out thrown out ring-pulls and damaged containers from under hardened sewer and calling it enjoyable.

Hannah Tomlinson, aged 38, stated to human resources little girl: "Your buddy James from baby room discovered incorrect teeth dating from the inter-war years, Ruby! Do you believe we'll be that fortunate?

" It most definitely isn't undermining, depending on the contaminated coast of a hectic river while vacationer watercrafts pass by looking at us like we're scavenging dung. They might believe we're bottom-feeders yet we're in fact chroniclers, aren't we? Oh, one more Prime container."

Husband Kieran Tomlinson stated: "This needs to be the most affordable yet. I would not do this for social work.

" Brushing with shite in the vain hope of discovering a damaged clay pipeline? Other mudlarks slapping in joy when one discovers an 19th-century morphine container, yet no one cares when I discover a 1978 Outer Spacers package? It's even worse than wild swimming."

A Guardian editor confessed: "In some cases we publish things simply to see if we can make you do it."

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